What about those days when your child gives you attitude,
does work begrudgingly, and generally makes your life miserable? Thoughts of
throwing in the towel and planting them on a yellow school bus can dance into
your mind. You can, however, make it through the day successfully and make it
meaningful. Try one or all of these tips.
1. Create the best atmosphere you can.
Without realizing it, we sometimes cause stress when we
aren’t structured, focused, and have a plan. A child functions best when they
clearly have in mind what is expected of them. It is even better if the same
structure or methods are used regularly. Even if you have a different thing
you do each day, is it done every Monday each week? If your school is set up
that way, then prepare the child by stating that today is Monday (insert
whatever day), so as usual, this is what we will be doing. They will come to
expect the routine and either look forward to it, or brace up for a challenging
day – which is not always a bad thing.
2. Troubleshoot
Do you have bad days? Do you ever feel grumpy or get sick?
Sometimes we forget that our children experience the same things from time to
time. If this is an ongoing thing, then we need to figure out what is causing
the problem. Sometimes, it can be as simple as getting more rest or having
a breakfast that is protein filled for brain power. At other times more serious
issues may be causing the less than cooperative spirit. If you are having more
tough days than rewarding ones, perhaps this is something to look into.
3. View it as an opportunity to teach self control.
Use this time to help your child to learn how to control
their emotions and responses. This is tough. But when done lovingly and
consistently, you will teach them how to deal with negative situations
effectively. Outside the home, sometimes a nasty response or bad attitude
can lead to big problems. It is important to give our kids the tools they need
to be the best they can be even when grumpy or not at optimal health.
One method of dealing with bad feelings is to write them out
– if they can. If your child is too young to write, then talk it out. For these
young ones, watching short videos on dealing with emotions can help them get
over the grumpies. There are a plethora of these available on PBSKids, NickJr,
and so on.
4. View it as an opportunity to teach respect for authority.
It’s not unusual for a child to occasionally have a bad
attitude or even challenge your ability as a “teacher”. Again, this is a
perfect time to set the thinking straight. You are in charge. No matter
where the child goes now or in the future, someone else will be in charge. Therefore,
no time like the present to get used to that fact and respect it. Be
careful of doubting your ability as a teacher. Now that they have questioned
your qualifications, you may wonder if they are right. Only you can answer
that. But it is important to keep in mind that you likely taught them how to
brush their teeth, tie their shoes, how to use the bathroom, and many more
things. You most likely are qualified to teach them more- even if it means
learning together.
5. Use this time to set a good example.
When one of my children is in a bad mood, I notice this make
me miserable as well. Most likely because I want to fix what’s wrong and I
can’t or there isn’t a quick fix. These are perfect times to work on ourselves
and not be reactive. As hard as it may be to not get upset and lash out, it is
important to remain calm. Kids learn more effectively from seeing an example
instead of hearing a lecture. While we are troubleshooting problems or
adjusting attitudes we must keep calm yet authoritative.
Try it out. The next time you have one of those days -
reflect on 1 or all 5 of these tips.
- Create a stress free learning experience with structure and routine.
- Troubleshoot bad days.
- Use this time to teach your child to deal with bad moods correctly.
- Use this time to teach your child to respect authority. It will serve them for the rest of their life.
- Set a good example in dealing with challenging situations.
Remember that tomorrow is a new start and the new start will
be easier if we don’t create a huge problem today. Be a part of the solution!